5 Hilarious Jokes That Will Make Your Day

Ready? Let’s dive in!

1. The Cowboy Knew What He Was Doing

One night, an old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

There’s absolute silence in the bar.

Then, in a very deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, cowboy, I think it’s only fair, given that you’re blind, there are five things that you should know:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I’m a 6-foot-tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.”

After a brief pause, she says, “Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “Nope… not if I’ve gotta explain it five times.”

2. Too Good to Be True

One day, Arnold was surfing on Facebook when he stumbled across an advertisement for a black SUV. The price seemed too good to be true.

“Mom!” he shouted. “Can I buy a car? I’m old enough to drive now and I just saw this amazing ad. Someone’s selling an SUV for just $25!”

“Oh, Arnold,” his mother sighed. “It must be a mistake. Rather, a typo as they say it. Who would sell a car for a few bucks?”

“Can we go and see the car, Mom? Please?” he looked at his mother with pleading eyes. “It’s just a few blocks away.”

“Alright,” his mother said.

The following day, Arnold and his mother went to the address mentioned in the ad. Sure enough, there was a brand new black SUV in excellent condition, with only a few hundred miles on it.

A woman saw them looking at the car and walked out of her house.

“So, you’re interested in buying the car?” she asked Arnold.

“Yes,” he nodded. “It’s so beautiful! How much are you selling it for? The ad said $25 but…”

“The price is still $25,” she said. “I’ll lower the price if you think it’s too high.”

Arnold immediately paid the money and signed the papers. However, his mother stopped to talk to the woman one last time before they left.

“Uhh… I just wanna know why are you selling this valuable SUV for such a low price?” Arnold’s mother asked the woman.

“Well,” the woman began. “My husband left the other day and ran away with his secretary. He called me from Hawaii saying, ‘Sell my car, send me the money.’ So that is what I am doing.”

3. The Lazy Employee

A company hired a new CEO, Richard, hoping the man would benefit the company by improving the overall operations.

On the first day, Richard decided to identify and get rid of all the slackers. He left his office to take a tour of the facilities and noticed a young man leaning against a wall.

Richard knew what he had to do next. He took this as an opportunity to show all the employees that he had no place in the company for lazy people like this guy.

So, he walked up to the guy and asked, “How much money do you make in a week?”

“$200, sir,” the guy replied. “Why?”

At that point, everyone in the office was already looking at Richard. He slid his hand into his pocket and took out his wallet.

“Here’s a week’s pay,” he said while handing him $200. “Now get out and don’t return! This place is not for people like you!”

Richard felt great about having fired someone. Once the guy left, Richard turned toward the employees and asked, “Can anyone tell me what the slacker did here?”

That’s when a senior employee said, “Sir, that was the pizza delivery guy.”

4. The Big News

One day, Peter’s parents told him they wanted to talk to him about something very important.

“What happened, Dad?” he asked his father.

“Son, we want you to know that you’re adopted,” his father replied.

“What?” Peter was shocked.

“We wanted to wait for the right time to tell you, sweetheart,” his mother said.

“I knew it! I knew I was adopted!” Peter said before shifting his gaze toward his father. “I want to meet my biological parents!”

“We’re your biological parents,” Peter’s father revealed. “Now pack up, the new ones are coming to pick you up in 20 minutes.”

5. The Unusual Interview

A young woman was once interviewing for an entry-level job. After talking to her for a couple of minutes and reviewing her resume, the interviewers realized she wasn’t the smartest of the lot.

However, they couldn’t end the interview without giving her the due interview time. So, they began asking her simple questions to kill time.

“So, how old are you?” one of the interviewers asked.

The woman started counting on her fingers.

“27 years, sir,” she said after a minute.

The interviewers looked at each other before the second one asked her another question.

“How tall are you?”

The woman took out a measuring tape from her bag, stood up, and measured her height.

“Five feet, three inches,” she responded.

Then, the first interviewer asked her the final question.

“Ok,” he sighed. “Just tell us your name, please.”

To their surprise, the woman chanted something in a low voice and then said, “Neha!”

One of the interviewers, who couldn’t take it anymore, asked her what took her so long to say her name.

“I was just recalling that song,” the girl began. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Neha…”

So, which joke did you like the most? Don’t forget to share these jokes with your loved ones. You might end up brightening their mood on a rough day.

If you enjoyed reading this article, here’s another one for you:

7 Selected Jokes That Will Brighten Your Day

Sometimes, we all need a little joy in our lives, and what’s better than a few jokes over a hot beverage? Lucky for you, we have a complication right here!

Feeling down or just need a little pick-me-up? You’re in luck! We’ve rounded up seven of the funniest jokes to tickle your funny bone and brighten your day. From forgetful seniors to witty kids, these stories are sure to bring a smile to your face.

Come on, grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and enjoy some light-hearted humor!

1. The Forgetful Couple

Look, old age is coming for us all. But an 80-year-old couple noticed that they were starting to forget things, so they decided to see their doctor for some advice. After a thorough check-up, the doctor reassured them.

“You’re both in great shape for your age. I’m so impressed! But maybe try writing things down to help you remember?”

Feeling relieved, the couple headed home. Later that evening, as they were watching TV, the old man got up from his chair.

“Where are you going?” his wife asked.

“To the kitchen, darling,” he replied.

“Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?” she asked sweetly.

“Sure,” he said, slipping his feet into his slippers.

“Maybe you should write it down, so you don’t forget,” she suggested.

“Nah, I’ve got it,” he insisted.

“Suit yourself,” she said. “But I’d also like some strawberries on top. Better write that down.”

“I’ll remember, darling,” he said, slightly annoyed. “Ice cream with strawberries. Simple enough.”

“And whipped cream,” she continued. “I’m sure you’ll forget my entire order if you don’t write it down.”

Now visibly irritated, he snapped, “I won’t forget!”

After about twenty minutes, he came back with a plate of bacon and eggs. His wife stared at it for a moment and finally sighed deeply.

“Darling, you forgot my toast,” she said.

2. The Sobering Juggler

A circus performer was speeding down the highway when a police officer pulled him over. As the officer began writing the ticket, she spotted several machetes on the back seat.

“What are those for?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m a juggler,” he explained. “They’re part of my act at the circus. I’m one of the lead performers!”

“Fine,” the policewoman said. “But I want you to prove it to me.”

Read the full story here.